The key to successful pickup is attraction. If a woman is attracted to you, you can make all sorts of mistakes in your “game” and still be successful with her. If she’s not, there’s very little you can do to make her interested in taking things to the next level.
But many aspiring PUAs don’t understand how attraction works for women, and thus make mistakes. It is very important to understand that women are not men. This sounds obvious, but it is the key to game. What while our primary attraction switches are visual, women are much more attracted to behavioral cues. Paying attention to your appearance and getting in shape will help you, but nowhere near as much as it would help a woman.
To start, let’s reduce the source of women’s attraction to a single word: status. Developing your ability to see and understand status will help your pickup immensely. Make a habit of assessing the status of everyone you run into in different social situations. Start noticing the behaviour that high-status people engage in, compared to low status people, and incorporate it into your behaviour.
The high status person sits in the most comfortable chair. If there aren’t enough chairs for everyone, he’s sitting down, while others stand. He has a good view of the room. He speaks slowly because he trusts people will listen. He often speaks first or last in the conversation. He is less focused on the people around him than they are on him. He is making confident decisions for himself and for the group.
In addition to status, the following are powerful attraction switches for women:
Pre-Selection: Assessing whether a man truly has attractive personal qualities can take a lot of time, but if other women find him attractive, he must have them. Therefore, pre-selection is a major attractive quality. Surround yourself with women to take advantage of this, even if you aren’t gaming them.
Confidence: One of the most important attraction switches. It is vitally important to be confident. If you don’t feel confident, act confident. Constantly ask yourself “what would a more confident man do here?” and just do it. Women may find shy awkwardness charming, but if you want to create powerful physical sensations drawing her towards you, be bold!
Center of Attention: Are people focused on you? Are they looking at you, talking about you? Then she’s going to want to spend more time with you.
Excellence: This is one of the most powerful attraction switches. Being excellent at anything. Displaying excellence marks you as sexually worthy. Remember that it’s not enough to be excellent, you have to show it off, preferably effortlessly. Put yourself in environments where you have a chance to show off what you are excellent at.
Socially savvy: Women are generally quicker than men at picking up little cues about social behavior and status than men. If she sees that you’re on her level with this, it will spark attraction.
Non-reactive: Stoicism is a stereotypically masculine trait – and guess what? Women are attractive to stereotypically masculine traits. Be emotionally strong, unaffected by the little slings and arrows life throws at you.
Non-reaction-seeking: This is related to the last one. People tend to ignore those of lower status than them, but they seek reactions from those above them on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you are trying to get a reaction from her, you must be lower status than her, and therefore unattractive.
Fun: Being the guy who is always enjoyable to be around makes you attractive. Don’t be the quiet guy in the corner. Get out and be social and fun!
Positivity: Related to the last. Because women are often more emotional than men, they feel negativity stronger than we do – but they also feel positivity stronger than we do. So be positive about things, and women will flock to you.
Protector of Loved Ones: If we remember, ultimately, that attraction switches were selected for by evolution, this makes a lot of sense. A woman wants to feel, viscerally, that you’ll take care of her and your children – even if she has no intention of actually having kids with you. Evolution hasn’t caught up to birth control! This one can be hard to show off directly, but work it into the stories you tell about yourself.
Effortlessness: One of the biggest killers of attraction is the sense that you are trying hard to make something happen. Attractive men do everything easily, effortlessly. Try to just be doing your thing and letting good things flow to you.
Humility: Related to the above. An attractive man doesn’t try to show anyone up. However, there’s a trap here for many aspiring PUAs: Avoid putting yourself down. Self-deprecating humor is bad for you game – but remember that every self-deprecating joke is a cocky/funny joke in reverse, and cocky/funny hits a lot of attraction switches.
As David DeAngelo pointed out attraction is not a choice. Hit all of these switches and you will have the women fawning over you. You will still need to apply good game to successfully advance, but the more you can keep her attracted, the easier things will go! Get used to pushing this buttons and hit them all the time.