Body language is one of the most important ways to communicate self-confidence and generate attraction. Good, comfortable body language will make women want to talk to you, it will make them more attracted to you, and it will improve your results.
Good body language starts with the chest. The best way to start thinking about it is just to raise your chest. Stand tall, with your feet a comfortable distance apart, and lift your chest. Notice how this changes your whole body’s alignment. Lifting your chest is the easiest, single-step body language improvement you can make.
If you spend a lot of time at a computer, chances are you have a slight forward hunch in your shoulders. You can address this by stretching the muscles that run across the front of your shoulders – this is easy to do in a doorframe: hold your arm out so the upper arm is at a right angle from your body, and your forearm points up. Rest the forearm against a doorframe and gently twist into it.
Another common problem is what’s called the “head forward” posture. I used to have big problems with this but took an Alexander Technique course which helped. You can find more information on it online.
A lot of people struggle with what to do with their hands. The first rule of dealing with your hands is simple: never, ever cross your arms in front of your chest. Fidgeting is bad, too. If you struggle with what to do with your hands, simply clasp them behind your back. Of course, you could also use your hands to kino whatever girl you’re talking to, but we’ll discuss that more in a future article. Crossing your arms is the biggest no-no, however, as it makes you seem much less friendly and approachable.
Many guys go wrong in how they hold their drink. They protect their drink by holding it out away from their body, with their whole wrist bent around it like a buffer, to guard it from being bumped or spilled in a crowded club. This is horrible body language, as it subcommunicates a tremendous amount of defensiveness. Instead, hold your cup loosely, from above, and let your hand holding it dangle naturally by your side.
When talking to a girl, there are some additional specific things to keep in mind.
First, lean back slightly. A lot of guys get excited when they’re talking to a hot girl and lean in. This is weak as it communicates too much interest. Lean back … let her lean in. If you’re in a loud club where you can’t hear each other, you may feel like you need to speak directly into her ear for her to hear you. This is fine, but get her to lean forward and place her ear next to your mouth. (As an added bonus, this position facilitates a lot of casual kino – you can put you had on her hip or the small of her back easily. Do so!) Whatever you do, don’t “peck” – lean into her ear as you say something. Let her come to you!
Leaning back is a part of the general guideline of not showing more interest in her than she is in you. Another great practical tool for this is to look where your feet point. This is a fun one to observe in others. Next time you’re in a crowded club, look at couples. The guys who seem to be failing with women will have their feet pointed right at the woman they’re interested in, while the women’s feet are pointed off to the side.
The guys who are really successful will have women’s feet pointing at them. When a hot girl enters a group, notice how everyone’s feet rotate towards her. When a less attractive girl does the same thing, everyone’s feet will stay pointed generally in the direction of the highest-value person in the group.
The feet end up being a subconscious indicator of interest. Since one key rule of game is to not appear more interested in her than she is in you, it’s important, then, to not let your feet point more towards her than hers point towards you. If you can keep track of this one, you’ll notice it powerfully reduces “overeager” vibes which can kill your game.
Following this advice will keep your energy positive, powerful, comfortable, open and friendly, while helping you maintain your value while interacting with attractive women. Apply it today!