Cold-reading is a popular pick up artist trick. It can be a fun demonstration of value, and earn you a lot of goodwill from your target. But if you ask about cold-reading on a lot of the PUA bulletin boards, you’ll lots of bad advice – about making very generic guesses based on someone’s age, race, etc. Read on for three basic cold-reading fundamentals that actually work.
The first trick to cold reading is to actually look at your target, and notice what you see. It’s amazing how much information most people give off without realizing it – but most of the time we don’t even look. Therefore, make a habit of looking. Practice on people you aren’t talking to. Notice clothes, shoes, jewelry. Notice hairstyle (did she put a lot of time into it?).
I can’t generalize about what all this means – there are too many possibilities. But if you make a habit of looking, and then you put together what you see with what you know or discover about people, you’ll become an expert in cold reading over time.
Another great trick comes from Kenton Knepper’s “Completely Cold”. The idea is simple. You offer someone an observation about themselves. If they agree, you say, “Yes, and …” and offer a second observation. If they hedge and say maybe, turn that maybe into a yes by saying, “Yes, but …” and then making a connection. It’s amazing how well you can lead people like this. You never respond to a “no” from her with a “no,” yourself – always with a “yes, but.” For example:
PUA: “I feel like you spend a lot of time worrying about relationships.”
Target: “Not really.”
PUA: “Yes, but you know that there are many different types of relationships. We have a relationship with money,” (no reaction) “We have a relationship with our body and health.”
Target: “Yes, I totally stress about my body too much! How could you tell?”
The use of so-called “awareness words” can help, as well. Notice the use of “you know” in the response, above. Words like “see,” “notice,” and “know” make it easier for your target to agree with you. This technique is extremely powerful and Knepper’s book has some great practical examples.
Lastly, there’s a set of cold reads that are almost cheating. They involve praising the woman, then pointing out how the opposite of that compliment is hidden inside her. For example, “You look confident, but I can tell you sometimes have a lot of self doubt.” “You’re very outgoing, but I’ll bet you get really shy sometimes,” or something like that. These work because the “hidden” quality is something that applies to everyone. Everyone has some self doubt, everyone has moments of shyness.
And, of course, if a woman rejects this approach, you can just fall back on Knepper’s technique and say, “Yes, but …”
One key to all cold-reading: focus on the positive. Everybody would rather hear positive things about themselves than the negative, so whenever you have the chance, spin things in a positive direction. That’ll get her saying “yes” to you move often.
This is a lot of fun and very easy to apply to your pickup technique. Start practicing it today.