So you met a hot girl, had fun the night you met her, and got her phone number. Now it’s time to set up a day two. This article will give you some basic principles on how to see her again.
Setting up a “Day Two”
Your plans to see a girl a second time begin before you ask for her number. Often the correct strategy is to “seed” an activity that the two of you might do together. “There’s a great climbing gym I’ve been meaning to check out,” or “Have you heard about that new sushi place?” You’re just having casual conversation, and the key to seeding is to drop ideas for interesting things to do until she bites, until she reacts by saying “Oh, that sounds fun. I’ve always wanted to go to a climbing gym/ try that sushi place /whatever.”
At this point, you don’t invite her to it. You let it drop. Then, later, you say something to the effect of “give me your number and we’ll go get sushi.” Remember, whenever possible to keep talking to her for a few minutes after you get her number. You want her number so you can spend time with her … but you’re spending time with her now! Don’t be in a rush to leave.
It’s important to seed interesting activities. A typical AFC date is dinner and a movie – but that’s a horrible date. You’re at the mercy of the movie being good (if it’s a dud you have major new roadblocks). While the movie is playing you can’t converse and have fun and laugh … and during dinner you’re sitting there, looking at each other with nothing interesting to talk about.
In fact, that model of date is so counterproductive that PUAs don’t even use the word “date” to describe seeing a girl for the second time. Instead, we talk about “day twos.” Or a D2, for short.
If dinner-and-a-movie is a terrible D2, what’s a good one? Well, anything that gives you interesting things to look at, do, or talk about while spending time together. Often group activities make great D2s because it’s easy to be comfortable, to present your best self. But really, coming up with a great D2 is about coming up with activities that you already want to do. This way, you’re already having a fun night – and each other’s company is just the icing on the cake. She’ll associate the overall fun of the evening with you, and when you isolate her and escalate kino, it feels spontaneous and natural.
Texting is a trap that many PUAs fall into. Avoid small-talk texts. Mystery recommends sending a light, funny text the night you get her number. It makes her smile, and it puts your name and number in her phone.
But texting is a tedious way to have a conversation, so don’t try – why do you want her to associate you with tedium? Save the small talk for being in person or being on the phone. Also, never, ever, ask a girl out by text while you’re getting used to this. This gives her all the power, while you dangle waiting to hear back from her, worrying more and more about what’s going on.
Furthermore, when she texts you back, if she’s busy, you never know if it’s because she is genuinely busy and wants you to ask again, or if she’s not interested. On the phone, you can hear it in her voice.
So what’s a good text? A good text is light and funny. It makes her laugh or smile – it gives her good emotions to associate with you. But it’s also like a pebble thrown into a pond. If you get a response, great! If you don’t … you just move forward as if it never happened. (This is a key rule of thumb for texting: if you are going to be stressed or not know what to do if you don’t get a response, don’t text her to begin with!)
Examples of good texts are: “Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I’m just texting to say goodbye,” “I’m naked…quit day-dreaming!” “stop undressing me with your eyes” or the sequence of you: “I have a question. Can you handle an honest compliment?” Her: “yes.” You: “Great. Me too. You go first.”
Phone game is much simpler. Call her up. Chat a bit. Get off the phone without asking her out. Repeat, and the second time invite her to the activity, chat a bit, then get off the phone. The key principles here are a willingness to get off the phone first, and the call being about something other than asking her out. “I just saw the funniest thing and thought of you …” is a great way to start a phone call. Talk for five minutes, and then be in the middle of something and have to go. The phone call was a spontaneous act!
Make specific plans. “Let’s get coffee on Friday. I’ll call you to set it up,” sounds like a plan to a guy, but to a girl it means nothing. She’ll flake and consider your annoyance a DLV, because in her mind you never made real plans. Real plans involve a specific time and place.
Don’t call or text to confirm – if you must text something, build anticipation. (eg, don’t text “Are we still on for margaritas tonight?” Instead text, “mmm … margaritas!”.) Calling to confirm is subcommunicating that it’s okay for her to flake. Assume she won’t flake, and she’s less likely to.
And lastly, don’t chase. If she gives you the runaround, give her a second chance, but then move on. Once you master this – and it’s tricky – you’ll discover that women start chasing you once they realize you won’t chase them. If she feels you chasing, she’ll run away.
But if you follow this advice, you won’t be chasing often. You’ll get in a room with her … and the rest is up to you.