One of the things many aspiring PUA’s need to learn about is how to talk about themselves positively, in a way that builds attraction. This has been codified as the “DHV (demonstration of higher value) story”: a prepared story you tell which has embedded DHV triggers to help build attraction.
Personally, I feel the whole idea of a DHV story is somewhat overblown. Women respond more to behavioral cues than verbal ones – acting like a high value man is more important than telling stories of your exploits. Furthermore, it’s important not to come off as bragging – if the DHV spikes in your story don’t feel natural, you’re going to do more harm than good.
Nevertheless, most aspiring PUAs mess up by being too passive and self-effacing. You should be able to tell stories about yourself, and you should be able to embed little DHV spikes into every story you tell. And of equal importance, you need to be aware of the ways in which the stories you tell reinforce or damage your value.
For example, if you are talking about an ex, and you describe her negatively, what is that saying about you? That you somebody who lets himself get tied down to low-value women, and therefore must not be too high-value yourself. Better is to praise the women you were with.
For example, recently I was in a large set where we were all talking about the last time we had great sex. Rather than just focus on the freaky aspects of it, I talked about how powerful our connection was. (This subcomunicates that I have enough sex to not be blown away merely by the in-and-out mechanics of it).
I then talked about how we always seemed to kiss or touch each other exactly the way we wanted to be kissed or touched. (This subcommunicates that I understand women’s physical experience of sex).
Lastly I praised many of her qualities outside the bedroom, describing her (truthfully) as an “ivy-league-educated former model.” (This isn’t even subcommunicaiton. I’m hitting preselection hard.)
By the time I finished, two of the girls in the set were giving me the doggie-dinner-bowl look, and one asked me, “What happened?” So I told her truthfully that my career demanded I be on one coast while her career demanded she be on the other, so we decided we had to let each other go. (Subcommuicating emotional maturity, and the ability to have adult relationships.)
Never in the conversation did I praise myself directly – but the story itself demonstrated a tremendous amount of value to all the women present, merely by praising a woman I was with. It also worked so well because it came up naturally in the course of the conversation. If I had forced it by saying, “let me tell you about this former model I was dating who I had great sex with” it would have felt like I was bragging, and they wouldn’t have believed a word coming out of my mouth even though it was all true.
Lastly, there’s a very important trap to avoid: self-deprecating humor and false modesty. A lot of guys get themselves into trouble by making jokes at their own expense, or being so afraid of bragging that they constantly put themselves down.
Don’t do this. Be willing to celebrate your own accomplishments, and never shy away from talking about them if they naturally come up in conversation. And when you have the opportunity to get a laugh by putting yourself down, don’t! Take that self-deprecating joke and turn it around, turn it into a self-aggrandizing joke. It may be a small change, but it will pay real results!