A certain amount of a set is “fluff talk” – small talk, your basic getting-to-know-you conversation. This is an important and unavoidable part of comfort building, and it happens in every set. However, a lot of guys don’t get the most out of this part of the game, letting attraction fade. Read on for some fundamental advice to help you keep the set moving forward while engaging in fluff talk.
“Future projections” are a great tool to use during fluff talk. A future projection is any time you get a girl to talk about an imaginary, positive future. Because women often feel emotions stronger than we do, having them imagine positive future situations that involve them causes your value in their eyes to skyrocket.
Talk about trips she’d like to take, talk about her dream job, talk about anything exciting she might have in her future. Focus on the positive, and write yourself into the story: if her dream is to go visit the greek islands, talk about how you imagine it must feel to swim in warm Mediterranean waters, and how the two of you could rent a yacht.
One of biggest benefits of this is that it’s not boring. You should always strive to avoid “the interview” – where you ask questions with simple, literal answers that she’s probably answered a thousand times: “What’s your job? What’s your major? Do you have brothers and sisters?”
There are three good ways to avoid the interview. The first is called “question into statement.” It’s pretty simple. You take a question you’d like to know the answer to, and instead of asking her, you make a guess as to what the answer, and you tell her. For example, “I bet you’re a psych major.” Not only do you get major points if you guess right, but even if you guess wrong, you’ve launched the conversation in an interesting and compelling direction. “No, I do bio. Why’d you think psych?” and then you do a cold read, or you just ask a followup question. Don’t be afraid of guessing wrong – the confidence you display by having a guess more than makes up for it.
The second way to avoid the interview is to ask more playful variants of interview-type questions. For example, instead of asking, “What do you do for a living?” you might ask, “When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?” (You could also combine these two techniques: “I bet you wanted to grow up to be a doctor when you were a kid.” This can be followed up with nicely teasing. If she asks you how you knew, play with her. “Well, you clearly think you know what’s best for everyone!”)
The third way to avoid the interview is to ask deeper versions of the standard questions. For example, “What’s your favorite part of your job?” The focus here is not on the nuts-and-bolts of what she does for a living, but rather getting her to feel the positive emotions she associates with her job. The more specific and unique the questions you can ask, the better you’ll do. Listen carefully to her answer, and ask an insightful follow-up question!
Add these elements to your fluff talk, and watch your results improve!