Qualification is one of the most mis-understood, and most important, parts of pickup. With so much emphasis put on opening and disqualification (making the target think you’re not interested in her) it’s understandable that a lot of guys get confused about when, and how, to switch gears.
But qualification is one of the most important parts of pickup. There are successful pickup artists who’s game consists, almost entirely, of qualification combined with kino escalation. Qualification is that important.
But what does qualification mean? The idea of qualification is simple. You qualify a woman by telling her what qualities she has that make you interested in her. You could be praising the color of her eyes, her wit, her style – or anything at all about her that appeals to you.
The rule of thumb for qualification is that the less obvious and more specific the quality she has that you praise, the more good it does you. Ever heard the classic advice, “Praise a pretty girl for her brains and a smart girl for her looks?” That’s an application of this principle. The hot girl has had hundreds, if not thousands, of guys tell her she’s beautiful. If you tell her she’s beautiful you’re just making it clear that you’re no different from anyone else. But if you’re the one guy who sees beyond her beauty and can praise some subtle aspect of her personality, you are golden!
Qualification should be honest. Girls have really good b.s. detectors for this sort of thing, so be careful about going overboard. Find qualities in her that you like. Maybe she’s fun or funny or observant or clever or stylish or, well, who knows. If you’re going to compliment something she’s wearing, try to take it a little further, into a compliment for her about knowing how to dress or accessorize.
It is okay to be very clear about qualifying a girl. Therefore, sentences about qualification will often start with something like, “You know what I like about you …” or “You and I are going to get along great because …”
Right now, there are some guys reading this who are saying, “Wait a second. If I’m just supposed to qualify a girl, what’s with all the negging and disinterest early in a set. Anybody can walk up to a girl and tell her something nice.”
The key is to remember where qualification comes in the set. Qualification comes AFTER the target has given you some indication that she’s interested in you. In other words, you only qualify a girl AFTER it’s clear that she wants you to be interested in her.
This is actually a general rule to all aspects of pickup. Ideally, a girl will want you to take every step – from opening, to kissing, and even through seduction – before you do it. Sometimes she isn’t even aware of it. Sometimes the gap isn’t very long – a real master pickup artist is taking each step just at the very moment the target realizes she wants it. (That is pretty much the definition of sweeping a girl off her feet).
But this is especially true with respect to qualification. Remember that an attractive woman’s default response is always going to be to reject suitors, so you can’t make it clear you’re interested in her until she wants you, first. If the only change you make to your game is to hold off on praising her until she’s attracted to you, you will see your results improve dramatically.
You may well qualify more than once. Qualification marks the end of the opening phase of the set, and the move into comfort or “mid-game,” but you will probably continue to qualify her as the set progresses.
Finally, it’s very important to remember that after you qualify a girl, you no longer need to pretend that you’re not interested in her. Yes, you may do a little push-pull to keep her on her toes, and it’s always important not to be too eager, which we’ll discuss more in future articles. But for now just remember that once you’ve qualified her, she knows you’re interested, so pushing her away too hard will feel like a rejection and can kill the set. I’ve seen lots of beginners blow sets by going back to disqualification after they’d already told the girl they were into her. Don’t make that mistake.
Luckily, qualification should be easy. Most of the time if you’re interested in the girl, there’s a reason. Share it with her! Make her feel good about herself, and she’ll reward you.