Rapport Building With Women

One of the key factors which will make a woman comfortable sleeping with you is the sense that you and her have connected on a meaningful level. If she feels like you are someone who sees her for who she really is, and appreciates her for who she is, then you’ll disarm a lot of her anti-slut defenses.

Genuine rapport is hard to fake, especially because women are better at picking up how present someone is in the moment than we are. If you are thinking about something other than what she is doing and saying right in front of you, she’s likely to notice.

And this leads us to the first truth about generating rapport: it comes from simply being present with someone, putting her at the center of your attention. A lot of aspiring PUAs get stuck in their heads, worrying about the next move, but this is a real game killer. If a girl senses that you have an ulterior motive, she’ll eject. If you have that kind of trouble, Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power Of Now” is further reading that you may find useful. (The book has some annoying metaphysical content – ignore that part. Focus on the practical stuff. As an added bonus, that book will provide great material to talk about with girls during the comfort phase).

Rapport can be facilitated in other ways, although if you don’t get being mentally and emotionally present down, these will be less useful. But one useful trick is mirroring: When you see a couple in deep rapport, you’ll notice how they often adopt mirror-image postures to each other. If he has his hands on his hips, so will she. They’ll drink with hands on the same side of the table, at about the same time, etc. To speed up the development of your rapport, start mirroring her posture, arm position, and so on.

You may find that this becomes very natural quite quickly. Good! This will help your game. (But don’t forget to kino! Of course, if she starts mirroring you, and you start kinoing her, then she’s going to kino you back.)

Another key aspect of rapport is mutual revelations of vulnerability. This is a very important step, but a lot of aspiring PUAs make a huge mistake here: They DLV themselves while making themselves vulnerable, by telling stories about them behaving in a low-value way. “I was so hurt when my ex-girlfriend dumped me, I thought I’d never meet another girl.” WRONG! Yes, you’re revealing vulnerability here, but you’re also saying, “I’m the kind of guy who gets dumped and has a hard time dealing with it.” That’s low value behavior.

Mystery, instead, tells a story about how his niece fell down the stairs, and how he was an emotional wreck but still managed to get her to the hospital. Notice how much better a story this is? Not only is he hitting the “protector of loved ones” attraction switch, but he’s telling a story about how he keeps his head in a crisis. He’s revealing vulnerability, but he’s DHVing himself while he does it. That’s how you generate rapport!

Another useful technique is future-projections. Basically, you share a fantasy about anything exciting: taking a trip, going on an adventure, getting married, you name it. Have fun with it and be extravagant. Women tend to feel emotions stronger than we do, so if you can get her really imagining this wonderful future with you, she’ll get the emotional kick as if it really happened. (And no, don’t worry about future-projecting marriage. Be light and fun about it, and it’ll be a blast. She’s not going to hold you to it).

Apply these principles to your mid game comfort-stage behavior. And make a habit of watching couples when you go out, when they’re in rapport. What do you see that you can copy? Mirroring, kino-pinging (lots of light, mutual casual physical contact), and what else? Watch, learn, and apply it to you own game, and you’ll see good results.

Good luck!

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